On Mourning Those Whose Faith was
Weak
Reflection offered at the annual
All Souls Concert at St. Joseph's Church,
Kingston , NY - November 10, 2013
Many of us have
been consoled in our grief by remembering the deep faith of the person no
longer with us. We may have observed firsthand how the one we loved and
respected was carried through the dying process by faith in a loving God. Or
perhaps the sadness of the day of their departure or the day of their burial
was eased by our imagining their joy as they entered into the embrace of the
God whom they knew and loved.
But my words
now are for those who grieve the loss of someone whose faith was not strong;
whose faith was underdeveloped; whose faith was long ago jettisoned in the face
of great pain, misfortune or disillusionment. Preparing their funerals and
burial rites may have seemed a bit off kilter because we never really knew how
they were with God.
It was this
way with me when my father died last April. True to his utterly in control
character and while he was in Hospice care at home, he planned everything. At
his request he met with the funeral director and pastor of the Episcopal Church
where he would be buried. He wrote his own obituary, wanted no church service,
requested military honors and allowed for only a few words at the burial.
While not a
member of Gereration X, he could have declared like some of them, “I am not
religious but I am spiritual.” I believe my father was a deeply spiritual man.
Were he not, how could he have been such a loving and faithful husband for
almost 70 years, such a lover and connoisseur of music and art, such a steady
reliable friend, or such a faithful citizen of the country of his adoption? He
often asked me to pray for him. But he was a pragmatic man wary of all
illusion.
Where did I
find my consolation if I could not find it in the sure knowledge of his faith? Where
can we find some peace when we lose someone whose faith had not matured, who
seemed to have no faith, or who chose a spiritual path unlike our own? I found my peace in a passage of Scripture
frequently read at funerals but little meditated upon:
The souls of
the just are in the hand of God,
and no torment shall touch them.
They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;
and their passing away was thought an affliction
and their going forth from us, utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
For if before men, indeed, they be punished,
yet is their hope full of immortality;
chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,
because God tried them
and found them worthy of himself.
As gold in the furnace, he proved them,
and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.
In the time of their visitation they shall shine,
and shall dart about as sparks through stubble…
and no torment shall touch them.
They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead;
and their passing away was thought an affliction
and their going forth from us, utter destruction.
But they are in peace.
For if before men, indeed, they be punished,
yet is their hope full of immortality;
chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed,
because God tried them
and found them worthy of himself.
As gold in the furnace, he proved them,
and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.
In the time of their visitation they shall shine,
and shall dart about as sparks through stubble…
I read this passage and
no longer wondered about the quality of the grand reunion of my father’s soul
with his creator. In that reunion all
has been revealed to him. Now he knows all about God, all those things he
missed or questioned or puzzled about all his life. Now he knows utterly
unconditional love.
Let our
consolation be found in the image of God taking such souls to himself and
transforming them into brilliant light. Where once their intellect or
ignorance, their pride or their lack of self-worth, their self-centeredness or
their frenzied busy-ness kept God at a distance or out of their realm
altogether; now they have bridged the gap. All distance has been erased by
union with God who knew their hearts as only God can know them. With this image
before us we can say with comforting certainty, “Now they know.”
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