Blessed Christmas Season and
Happy New Year to ALL
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Dear Ones,
This is sent
with the hope that you and your families and communities are enjoying these
special days; that they have enriched your relationships, extended your love
and made memories for a lifetime. As I begin to write and look back on this
year I am amazed at the amount and variety of events that have transpired; all
the challenges, all the joys, all the new experiences (some that I would not
trade at all and others that I could have easily done without). Where does the
time go and how does life get so complicated?
Late in 2013 we welcomed Matilda Anne Pleva, daughter of Teresa and
Andrew, into the world. She appears above back in October with her adoring cousin
Nicholas, son of Kim and Jonathan, and now almost 11 years old. Here he is in
another picture with his brother Benjamin who just celebrated his 8th
birthday. Jonathan and family moved from Waterbury, CT to Chelmsford, MA to
which he was transferred as a Boy Scout Council Executive. Theirs is a very
busy family.
Now little Matilda has a new cousin who arrived on November 1, 2014, Harrison
Cooper Pleva, son of Heidi and Matthew. He is just adorable and I can’t wait to
get my hands on him again. Heidi and Matthew also juggle a great deal in their
lives with regular jobs and their shop “Art Riot” on John Street in Kingston.
Matt’s tour de force this year was painting an outdoor mural (35 x 65ft.)
depicting historic Kingston and the Old Dutch Church. Hard on the heels of
Harrison’s birth came the installation of another holiday window designed by
Matt for the Blue Cashew shop in Rhinebeck.
Teresa and Andrew are about to close on purchase of a house whose
history will be a blessing to them. In a few weeks they will moved into 41
Lafayette Avenue, Kingston just 2 blocks from the house in which Andrew grew up
and where Matthew and family live now. Everyone really wanted to be near each
other and create family for the children. The 1920s vintage house belonged for
over 50 years to a couple who were pillars of the church and most generous
souls so a loving spirit will surround them there. The house which was very
well maintained has an extra bedroom and full bath on the first floor, a
wrap-around porch, three 2nd floor bedrooms and a walk-up attic with
some finished space and built-in cedar closet. The new life and new homes are
answers to prayer and a call to gratitude at the end of this year.
There were challenges too during which the appeal to God was for the
gifts of wisdom and compassion. In May my mother who was being treated for
pneumonia fell during the night in her assisted living bedroom. She got a bad
gash on her head and lay in a pool of blood for a long time. Nothing was broken
but she required hospitalization for a week and then nursing home placement to
recoup from the fall and the pneumonia. So I searched for a better choice than
the 3 other nursing homes she has spent time in during the last 2 years. We
settled on Putnam Ridge in Brewster, NY about a 35 minute drive from me and an
hour less in travel time then to Tuxedo for my sister living in Connecticut.
Rose was still heavily involved in the task of selling my parents’ house. That
was accomplished in July.
When my mother went to the
nursing home she just wanted to be left alone to sleep and had to be fed at
meals. We assured the staff that she was walking independently the day before
her fall and would come back to life. By the middle of July she had indeed
become herself but all agreed she could no longer live safely in assisted
living. So Putnam Ridge has become her permanent home.
No sooner was the decision made than we learned that her brother, my Uncle
Joseph Milazzo age 82, had collapsed in a laundromat in Margate, FL near his
home. I flew down on July, 26. His
condition was very poor and it was clear that he could not live alone any
longer. I worked furiously to get necessary legal documents created, organize
his papers, put his condo into some order, dispose of a great deal and
supervise his care as he went from hospital to nursing home, back to hospital
and then back to nursing home in the space of 2 weeks. Since he was too ill to
travel on a commercial plane and I was unable to stay in Florida permanently,
we decided to fly him to NY via private air ambulance jet and place him in the
nursing home with my mother. They enjoyed a loving reunion in mid-August. But
his condition continued to deteriorate. Although we knew his condition was poor
we were surprised by his sudden death on October 3rd. He now rests
in St. John’s Cemetery in Queens where his mother was buried in 1932 when he
was just 3 months old. My uncle worked hard all of his life as a master carpet
mechanic. He never married; he lived well but not extravagantly. He played the
market and later settled into reliable investments. As generous as he was in
life he could be as generous in death. At this time both my sister and I are
dealing with all the responsibilities which follow upon the deaths of both my uncle
my father. We have learned a great deal; everything is very complicated even
with the aid of lawyers and accountants.
My mother is being well taken care of but the sight of her in the
Memory Wing of the nursing home among patients with similar dementia symptoms
and many others so much farther along the way in their gradual total departure
from reality is often difficult to bare. I remind myself that her manner
indicates that she is nothing but content and feeling safe. She walks with a
walker but is getting even slower. She does not remember that her brother was
there and she rarely asks about my father. We worry only about falls and
pneumonia.
For years I have not traveled too much with exception of trip to
Ireland in 2011. This year brought trips to Sioux Falls, SD in January to
transfer our sewing business to another community; to Indianapolis, IN for an
Association of Contemplative Sisters leadership meeting; to Florida during the
summer; and to St. Louis in September for ACS national meeting. While these were
all lovely experiences I find air travel very uncomfortable and arduous.
A month before the trip to Florida I had hip surgery to correct some
unanticipated problems after hip replacement in 2010 – residual pain from a muscle
rubbing against the artificial hip joint and also a bone spur beneath it.
Surgery at NYU Hospital for Joint Diseases was a great experience – just a 2
day stay.
Our community continues to live the blessing of sharing a monastery
with the Carmelite nuns. In May we moved our three sisters from assisted living
in Mt. Vernon, NY to the infirmary (Lourdes Health Care) of the School Sisters
of Notre Dame in Wilton CT. Sr. Mary had begun to experience seriously
declining health. We supported her through a number of hospitalizations both
before and after the move to Wilton. Our much beloved sister passed into the
arms of God on December 9. So at this writing, as we decorate for Christmas, we
are still processing the loss of our sister. In February, we had supported the
Carmelites in their loss of Sr. Michael Ann, a very dear and wise person who
was the first prioress of the union of three Carmelite communities which came
together here in 1998.
Each day I seem to be playing catch up with the list of things to do;
paper work and phone calls for family matters, secretarial work for the
community, household chores, managing our various sites on the internet (see
links below), writing for blogs and other publications, knitting for our
on-line shop and for the new babies in my life. But distractions abound and
other things come along to take precedence. I try to visit my mother once a
week. When I can I find time to do the writing I am drawn to – opinion or
memoire pieces that I publish to my blog, an essay for our Order’s
international publication, and lately meaningful obituaries.
So often I find myself moving into
default mode and thinking I should call Dad and Mom about some article I have
seen that would interest them; share a story about the new ones in the family; tell
them about something wonderful I found among my uncle’s things; ask for a
recipe or practical advice; or seek philosophical discussion of the fate of our
world. Then I face the fact that none of this is possible any longer. I have
passed into the mode of being the one who receives those calls from my own
children who want to share an achievement, recount the vagaries of the home
buying experience these days, tell of a child’s new stage of development, or ask
about advisable treatment for childhood illness. All very gratifying, but also
reminding of years passing all too quickly. Another reminder came in the death
of my father’s best friend, Vito Capuco of Annapolis, MD in September. They met
at City College in 1948. As I moved among his dear family and their many
friends at wake and funeral the memories came in almost overwhelming waves.
I look forward to the year 2015 which will include some travel, time to
do some things pushed aside for too long. It will include celebration of our
Sr. Lydia’s 50th jubilee of vows; Jonathan running in the Boston
Marathon in a fundraising effort on behalf of a charity which emerged from the
Newtown tragedy; Teresa and Andrew moving into their new home.
Have been praying for all of you throughout the Advent Season, our Christmas Novena and
these days of the solemn feast of the Incarnation. I am drawn particularly to
the needs of long married couples experiencing the challenges of ageing, the
suffering of refugees and those enduring violence of any kind, as well as the
fate of our planet.
Thank you for the gift you are to me and for the continuing
relationship which is only blessing. Best wishes to you and yours for the
coming year. Stay in touch. It means so much.
May God bless us all.
With the assurance of prayers and with much love,
With the assurance of prayers and with much love,
Hildegard
E-mail: hpleva@gmail.com
Personal Blog: MonasticMusingsOSsR.blogspot.com
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/HildegardPleva
Community Website and Blog: http:/www.RedNuns.org
Community Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/RedNunsEsopus
Monastery On-Line Shop: www.etsy.com/shop/RedNunsRoberie
Shop
Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/RedNunsRoberie
