Contemplative Spirituality

"When the Going Gets Tough..."

Sister Constance FitzGerald, OCD (Discalced Carmelite) is a woman I have admired from afar for a long time. When I had the great good fortune to meet her at a gathering of the Association of Contemplative Sisters (lay women and religious) I did not have a clue as to her background and achievements. That she was a lovely, well-spoken, gracious women of great spiritual depth and commitment to her contemplative vocation was obvious. What I did not realize was that she is a highly respected scholar, well-known for her studies of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross. In our monastery collection of audio tapes I found some of her lectures, presented here over twenty-five years ago. The teaching was solid gold. How I wish there was time to transcribe them. Today, Sr. Connie is among the elders of her vibrant and growing Carmelite community in Maryland.

Recently, I twice came across citations for an article written by Sr. Connie in the 1990s. At first it seemed there was little chance of getting my hands on a piece first published in a journal in the mid-90s. But the second citation was for a book of essays, a volume in our own library collection. For me, it was a great find. The book is Women's Spirituality - Resources for Christian Development (second edition, ed. Joann Wolski Conn, NY:Paulist Press, 1996).

Two essays by Sr. Connie appear in the volume: Impasse and the Dark Night and The Transformative Influence of Wisdom in John of the Cross. Here I will refer only to the first essay concerning spiritual impasse or the dark night of the soul. Sr. Connie explains:

By impasse, I mean that there is no way out of, no way around, no rational escape from, what imprisons one, no possibilities in the situation. In true impasse, every normal manner of acting is brought to a standstill, and ironically, impasse is experienced not only in the problem itself but also in any solution rationally attempted...Dorothee Soelle [Suffering, Fortress, 1975] describes it as "unavoidable suffering"...Moreover, intrinsic to the experience of impasse is the impression and feeling of rejection and lack of assurance from those on whom one counts. At the deepest levels of impasse, one sees that support systems on which one has depended pulled out from under one and asks if anything, if anyone, is trustworthy. Powerlessness overtakes the person or group caught in impasse and opens into the awareness that no understandable defense is possible. This is how impasse looks to those who are imprisoned within it. It is the experience of disintegration, of deprivation of worth, and it has many faces, personal and societal.

This essay is so striking because first her description rings so painfully true and then she explores the realm of potential within an experience that not only seems to offer no options but, very realistically, does not have a way out at all.

Paradoxically, a situation of no potential is loaded with potential, and impasse becomes the place for the reconstitution of the intuitive self. This means the situation of being helpless can be efficacious, not merely self-denying and demanding of passivity. While nothing seems to be moving forward, one is, in fact, on a homeward exile - if one can yield in the right way, responding with full consciousness of one's suffering in the impasse yet daring to believe that new possibilities, beyond immediate vision, can be given.

I could go on and on because what Sr. Connie expands upon is the course that might be taken rather than the more common phenomenon of bailing out of the relationship, the marriage, the job, the responsibility, the religious community, the priesthood, the impasse of whatever kind. Another very wise friend of mine, Brother Donald Bisson, FMS (spirituality and Jungian psychology) speaks of this as the inability to live with paradox, to hold the often opposing factors simultaneously, at least for a while and let them work, give them time to become life-giving instead of life threatening.

Sr. Connie goes beyond the individual experience of impasse. She applies this analysis to societal impasse, impasse unexplored which leads to bailing out in the form of military attack or bailing out by refusing to deal with an issue vital to the entire country or the world. She also applies the concept to the impasse experienced by so many women who feel that their gender has hit the glass ceiling or the glass wall which allows them to go no further on the road to gender equality.

Have I recommended this piece highly enough? It seems a must for those seriously pursuing the spiritual path. I am very grateful to Sr. Connie for this work and so much more.

Feast of Saints Peter and Paul

Feast Day of

Our Prioress

Sister Paula

Schmidt, OSsR

To this day, in many monasteries, the feast day of the prioress is a major affair. Small gifts and cards would be arranged at her place in the refectory. She would be relieved of all tasks by her loving sisters. In our monastery every sister's feast is a special day and there is no array of small gifts. However, the honoree may chose her favorite foods for a celebratory dinner, her place at table is decorated especially for the occasion including flowers and mass is generally offered for her intentions. Our Sister Paula always has the benefit of this extra special feast day in the Church for two most important figures in its history. And it works out particularly well for her since when she professed vows fifty-six years ago she was given the name of Sister Mary Peter. So this feast of Saints Peter and Paul is perfect for her.

Sister Paula was one of the founding sisters of this monastery. Having first entered the Redemptoristine Nuns in Toronto, Canada, she never expected to see the United States again. Yet the mysterious workings of God brought her back into the country only eight years after her entrance to co-found this monastery here in Esopus, New York.

It has been my pleasure and great blessing to know Sr. Paula for over eighteen years; first as my spiritual director for ten of them, then as my postulant and novice mistress and now as the superior of this community. She is a small woman, very dainty and completely unassuming. Those who meet her always comment upon her gentleness and wisdom. She has been a vital, intelligent and faith filled influence in this monastery through all the years of renewal and through the process of writing new constitutions and statutes for the Order when she attended many international meetings. And she has been a wise, supportive model and praying presence for the many Redemptorist students who studied here and now for the many Redemptoristist priests with whom she enjoys friendship and mutual respect.

I admire her fortitude and perseverance through thick and thin. And any life that endures will experience both the thick and the thin. In religious life, the challenges can bring a sister to question her own vocation, especially in those years when there were so many leaving communities. I do not fully understand how their spirit was kept alive except by deep personal faith and courage and profound relationship with Jesus.

It was especially fortunate for this very late vocation to have Sr. Paula's gentle guidance through the thick and thin of initial formation. Sometimes I think of the stupid, obnoxious, or boastful things I said and grow red with embarrassment to realize how patient she was with me. But then, she'd had a lot of experience with people like me, especially the slow learners like me! And I am still learning.

Monastic contemplative community life would not go on generation after generation were it not for Sr. Paula and others like her living and praying and loving in monasteries all over the world. They teach by their lives. For this I am grateful.

Blessings on your feast day, Sister Paula!

Back to Quilting - A Contemplative Art

Airplanes - handquilted - 1978 to 2008

Garden Path - hand quilted - 90s

Wedding Gift Wall Hanging - Machine Quilted - '08

Center Amish Square - hand quilted - 90s

Wright Brothers Flyer in border

Flower Basket - hand quilted - 2007
Tomie De Paola ABC Quilt - machine quilted - 2007

The Needle Arts in My Life

On November 14, 2007 two photos of quilts were posted here (see archives or click on "art" in the list in the side bar). At the time more were promised but it never happened. Now with a little bit of breathing time this collection could be mounted.

If the truth be told, I was practically born with a needle in my hand. Most in my family and in my Brooklyn neighborhood worked in the garment district of Manhattan. My grandfather was a machine operator, my aunt a sample maker for a prominent designer of haute couture and my uncle a much valued presser in a factory. My godmother's husband held patents for machines that could automatically be re-sized for cutting out dress pieces from huge piles of fabric. I learned to sew on a factory machine kept in the basement. At seven I could crochet and by the time I was ten or so I could embroider a and knit. I remember following my mother and my aunt through the aisles of the fabric department of Gimbel's department store. They would finger the goods and make pronouncements about the quality. I touched the goods too and learned about quality, draping, and durability etc.

While I lived in Connecticut from 1969 - 1974 I was exposed to quilts and fell in love with them but could not find a teacher. Upon moving to Kingston, New York in 1974, I was introduced to a quilting teacher. Eager to learn the art from a master and make friends in my new town I enrolled in her class at the local community college. I was hooked by the colors and the geometrics. Then a tiny, tiny quilting needle was put in my hand and a thimble on my finger. I had thus far avoided thimbles. No way to escape them in hand quilting unless you want to bleed all over the quilt. I thought my days at the craft were numbered. Assured that practice and perseverance would win out, I kept at it and was rewarded. Now designing, selecting fabrics and hand quilting are my favorite parts of the process. I do use a rotary cutter as much as possible and machine sew the patchwork.

Eventually I became active in a guild, entered my work in shows, and taught some classes. Very special hand-quilted bed covers have been made to honor my parents' wedding anniversary (white and navy double Irish chain), as gift to my son and daughter-in-law upon their marriage (whole cloth white queen size) and now, at long last, as a gift to my middle son. This last one was begun in 1978 as a gift to Matthew (the artist son). It was to honor the 75th anniversary of the Wright Brothers first flight. But thirty years later that quilt remained unfinished!!!!! Now it has been completed. But Matthew does not know that and since he doesn't check out this blog it will still be a secret.

Contemplative Nuns Come to Last Day of Novena

Feast of Our Mother

of

Perpetual Help

June 27, 2008

Last of of Triduum

Readings: Isaiah 7:10-17 Revelation 12:1-6,10

John 19:25-27

Sr. Paula Schmidt, OSsR, Prioress

Good evening! My name is Sister Paula. Welcome to this concluding Mass of the Novena in honor of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. Today is her Feastday. As we are celebrating here, we are united with so many lovers of Mary under this title, who are gathered in other shrines and churches throughout the world. God alone knows the tremendous chorus of intercession and praise arising through the Eucharist and all who are joined in prayer as we are. Father Charles Brinkman, CSsR is our celebrant.

Tonight in the Gospel we will hear Jesus, on the Cross, say to us, "Behold your Mother." And with his last breath, whispering to Mary, "Behold your children!" With deep gratitude for this wonderful gift from God, let us joyfully begin our worship.

NOVENA PRAYER

Holy Mary, help all in distress, encourage the fainthearted, console the sorrowful, be the advocate of all the clergy and religious, strengthen family life, bring peace to our world, intercede for all God’s holy people; let all feel your aid who implore your Perpetual Help.

V: Our Mother of Perpetual Help, pray for us.
R: hat we may become worthy of the promises of Christ.

O Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us your Mother Mary, whose miraculous image we venerate, to be our Mother, ever ready to help us, grant we pray, that we who earnestly implore your aid may deserve to enjoy perpetually the fruit of your redemption. You who live and reign for ever and ever. Amen.

Some of Our General Intentions for This Novena

· the poor, the sick, the suffering people of our world
· peace and harmony for all families and nations
· an end to violence and war, and the safe return of our armed forces
· a future full of hope for our young people
· our Church and all its needs, for healing and holiness
· the guidance of the Holy Spirit upon our national elections
· vocations to the religious life and priesthood

Mother of Perpetual Help,

pray for us.

Nuns Continue Novena to Perpetual Help

June 26, 2008
Eighth Day of Novena to Mother of Perpetual Help
Readings: Sirach 24: 9-11 Responsorial Luke 1:46-55
John 2: 1-11

MOTHER OF DIVINE HOPE

Good evening. I am Sr. Moira and on behalf of our community I welcome you to the second night of our Triduum and eighth day of our Novena. Today we honor Our Mother of Perpetual Help under the title of Mother of Divine Hope.

Gazing at this icon I notice the figures are almost overpowered by the gold surrounding them. In my heart I think of that as the symbol of Divine Hope. Jesus is our Divine Hope and when he was frightened Mary surrounded him with her arms and held him, and encouraged him, as she did at the wedding feast of Cana. She does so with us now; she gives us Divine Hope.

A few years ago I wrote a poem in honor of Mary which spoke of this hope; our longing for that which we most desire will be fulfilled: our salvation. It says, in part:

Gold is the rose of triumph unimagined.
Woman of hope, you sensed all would be well.
You shared that trust in One who came to save us;
Pray we be one: a people full of hope.
Walk with us now, our Mother and our Sister,
We follow you, our guide in times of hope.
© Moira Quinn 2005

Therefore, as one, let us unite our hope-filled prayers with Our Mother of Perpetual Help’s, Our Mother of Divine Hope, as we celebrate this Eucharist with our celebrant Fr. Charles Brinkman, and give thanks for all our hopes fulfilled.

NOVENA PRAYER

Holy Mary, help all in distress, encourage the fainthearted, console the sorrowful, be the advocate of all the clergy and religious, strengthen family life, bring peace to our world, intercede for all God’s holy people; let all feel your aid who implore your Perpetual Help.

V: Our Mother of Perpetual Help, pray for us.
R: That we may become worthy of the promises of Christ.

O Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us your Mother Mary, whose miraculous image we venerate, to be our Mother, ever ready to help us, grant we pray, that we who earnestly implore your aid may deserve to enjoy perpetually the fruit of your redemption. You who live and reign for ever and ever. Amen.