Ash Wednesday - 2014


A Fitting Sacrifice


Let a crushed heart and spirit
Mean as much as countless offerings...
Let this be our sacrifice today...
Our hearts are completely yours.  Daniel3:39-41, ICEL Translation

Early Boomers like myself are easily brought back in memory to Ash Wednesdays of the distant past. I remember lengthy conversations among the numerous girls on my block in Brooklyn. We debated the comparative value of our planned Lenten sacrifices. The list could include: no gum, no candy, no TV, daily Mass, the Stations every week, total cooperation with and obedience to our parents. Perhaps this habit of picking a good Lenten sacrifice lingers with you too. I would like to suggest here that a good choice might be not to pick a practice at all. Is it really necessary to conjure a new something to do or a new something to give up? Is it possible that the most honest, heartfelt and generous practice would be to cultivate a new awareness and a new attitude toward what already makes our lives difficult? Could we practice the grace-filled art of giving new meaning to that which is difficult or painful, that which God has placed in our lives?

Henry David Thoreau wrote,  “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  We may not all have live lives of quiet desperation but each person has struggles, anxieties, compulsions, problems that weigh one down; pain, sorrow, grief, or illness in body, mind or spirit. Some live in constant danger or uncertainty or the persistent lack of some essential need whether it be remunerative work, money to pay the bills or unconditional love and personal regard. And some bear daily in their hearts a constant concern for a loved one whose illness is beyond their control to relieve or cure. The list of what may make life difficult, of what may be a constant cross, goes on and on. Even when we create our gratitude lists that very act acknowledges the shadow of what we cannot be grateful for, of what we must endure.

This morning Father Richard Smith, pastor of St. Joachim - St. John the Evangelist Parish here in Beacon, NY, retold the story of St. Francis of Assisi who heard a message from God saying, "Rebuild my Church." Francis took the words literally and set about the arduous work of physically rebuilding a church. Later he realized how his literal interpretation may have come from his own grandiosity. Rather than doing physical work with brick and mortar he was to embody in his behavior the proper attitude of the Church, the attitude of Jesus. He demonstrated this understanding when he met the leper on the road. This was a leper whom he had been taught was disgusting, repulsive and dangerous. This was the leper whom he saw frequently along the road and sought to avoid at all cost. But this time, upon seeing the leper on the road, he went to him and embraced him. Francis embraced the leper and kissed his wound.
                 

Whatever the particulars of  "quiet desperation" in our lives; what we already endure can be the locus of our Lenten sacrifice. We do not have to invent a penance of our own choosing. In the very inventing we express our egoistic need to be in control, to know better than God. By embracing the leper which is our own "quiet desperation" we embrace what, by the Will of God, is present in our daily reality. Instead of pushing it away, of fighting it and resenting it, we can touch it and examine it. We can prayerfully commit to a previously unreached level of acceptance, to greater self-awareness of our struggle. We may even be moved to the penitential practice of seeking help along the way.

Even if we have already accepted these "desperations", close examination can bring us to greater appreciation of the worthiness of our endurance, of its great value as an offering to God. Rather than making ourselves feel guilty because a better person would not have these struggles and burdens we can embrace them and acknowledge them as something beautiful for God.

In today's Gospel (Matthew 6:1-6,16-18) Jesus said, "When you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you." What has been presented here is subject matter for your secret whispers in prayer; prayer that is talk of what is real, what is "fitting sacrifice" from the substance of your daily life. The last step is to unite it with the suffering Christ, totally rejected with his flesh nailed into the wood of the cross. To the suffering of this Jesus unite your own examined, accepted, and even embraced, "quiet desperations" for the salvation of the world.

Polished Worry Stone

Rubbed Smooth by Faith and Prayer

Glories in the Cross

by Sister Moira Quinn, OSsR, Prioress Mother of Perpetual Help Monastery (Redemptoristine Nuns) currently in West Park, New York - Remarks to the community, Ash Wednesday, 2013 after presenting each sister with a pocket
sized worry stone.

Very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had just risen, the women went to the tomb. They had been saying to one another, “Who  the tomb?” When they looked up they saw that the stone, which was very large, had already been rolled away. Mark 16:2-4

 

Hear the worry in the women’s voices? They say rubbing a worry stone calms the soul. We all have our share of worries: Hilda away community caring for her aging parents, Paz with her sister awaiting brain surgery; all of us under a deadline to find a place to call our permanent home, sorting through real or imagined treasures of what to bring along and what to leave behind; the actual move, how we will be community in the future… How do we handle these worries?

 

If we look to our foundress, we see that despite all the blessings bestowedon Celeste throughout her life, she had her worries also. But reflecting on the life of her Beloved in faith and prayer she wrote, “In your humiliations all the sweetnesses of your infinite glory are hidden. How can I ever thank you for these marvelous humiliations while you invite me to keep you company (on the cross) and you in your mercy deign to gaze on me with your divine light.” Florilegium 117

 

And Jesus answers, “Give your attention to the treasure which I disclosed to you on the cross in which my eternal glory is enclosed.” Florilegium 123What is this treasure? All our trials, humiliations, our frailties, ourchallenges; all our mundane tasks are hidden treasures.

By our own faith and prayer during this time of transition together we experience transformation of being rubbed smooth when we unite ourselves to Jesus on the cross and discover the graces and gifts, the wisdom andaccomplishments in sweet acceptance of those hidden graces of the cross in order to obtain the glories of Jesus, our Beloved. The stone has already been rolled away!

 

Let us polish our worry stones then, basking calmly in the merciful gaze of Christ’s divine light as we begin this Lenten season.

 

A Lenten Prayer

A Daily Prayer

Our Byzantine rite brothers and sisters will use this prayer every day during Lent. It is attributed to an early Church Father, Saint Ephrem of Syria.

O Lord of my life, take away from me the  spirit of laziness, faintheartedness, ambition and idle talk. But grant me rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love. Yes, O Lord and King! Grant me to see my own sins and faults and not to judge my neighbor, for you are truly blessed forever. Amen.

The Seasons Turn

The Holy Face Not Made by Human Hands

egg tempera and gold leaf on gesso

The Liturgical Year brings us into the season for dwelling upon the infinite mercy of God. Yes, that's the infinite mercy of God. And yes, we commonly think of the Lenten season as a penitential time; a time for reparation and sorrow for sin. But as was heard in the reading from the book of Joel at Mass today, what God calls us to is not a rending of garments but rather a rending of hearts - a tearing open of the heart so that it can be moved to pity, to prayer, to alms giving, and to defending the cause of justice. But Jesus warns, "When you give alms do not let your right hand know what you left hand is doing...and when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and prayer to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

Ash Wednesday is a celebration of the mercy of God who never ceases to draw us closer and while seing into the secret recesses of our hearts and is moved to forgive. The rending of hearts, withdrawing to the inner room and being seen in secret speak of the very interior nature of the spiritual process in which we try to engage during Lent. It is a process most likely to be carried out in silence and solitude, a more contemplative way of being. Why not try to carve out some for yourself and bring Jesus into that secret space with you and see what happens in these forty days or so?

A Lenten Reflection

The Tapestry of Life:

A Contemplative Reflection on Asceticism

for the Season of Lent

The quilt detail shown here is my personal effort at creating a tapestry - a wall hanging featuring fabric and color in pleasing balanced design. A tapestry  image was the gift I received in meditation a few days ago. The thought was framed by the notion of creating something beautiful for God out of the mystery of my life. It would be varied, bright and pleasing to the eye.

But yesterday, as  we prayed a version of the 'morning offering' that is part of our Office prayers, I was blessed with another understanding. The prayer reads: Lord Jesus Christ, I offer to your loving heart all the little annoyances, inconveniences, joys and pleasures, sufferings and trials which may come to me today. Change them into mighty graces, apply them to the spread of your kingdom, to the work of our missionaries, to the salvation of the most abandoned souls, (to which I add) and for family and friends most in need of prayer today.

In reading those words and speaking them in my heart, I was given another understanding of the tapestry image. I realized that my bright and colorful tapestry would not be created by holy, heroic, pre-planned devotional offerings and great acts. Rather, it would be a creation of the uneven and messy, not necessarily color coordinated, "little annoyances, inconveniences, joys and pleasure, sufferings and trials" of my life. This is what is real; this is what creates the tapestry. That may be the truth but it is not what my ego so much prefers, the bright, pleasingly designed and colored tapestry of my first image. Surely, only that perfection could be a fitting gift to present to God. However, I was graced with the realization that the highly idealized vision is merely the creation of a controlling ego. To allow the tapestry to take its own shape; to fall into place in the random fashion that is God's design; and to freely accept the colors and tones left behind only by the Spirit's grace, is to require a degree of surrender and letting go which continues to elude me. This is the central illusion; the illusion of personal control, of mastery, of perfection. To be truthful, letting go does not so much elude me as much as I remain resistant to it because my ego stubbornly clings to its own plan, its own vision, its singular perception of the way things ought to be. Perhaps the grace of these meditative experiences, this light of grace, is to accept the inspiration offered for Lenten asceticism; an acseticism of acceptance. It would be a surrender to the "little annoyances, inconveniences, joys and pleasures, sufferings and trials" of each day, just as they come. In surrender, acceptance and letting go they would be transformed into the materials of my tapestry in hues and tones, texture and weight expressly chosen for me by God alone. The finished product, truth be told, will be worn and threadbare in spots, even faded by the light of grace sought time and again in moments of human frailty; a testimony to perseverance.

The Holy Season of Lent

Re-orientation Time

An image that speaks to me of the Ash Wednesday commission is that of the Sargent of a squadron of parade marchers shouting the command, "Eyes Right!" There was probably a lot of that during the parade following the recent Presidential Inauguration. It is a call to re-orient, to shift focus and pay tribute to the one being honored. The image conjures up some questions for self-examination: In what direction has my attention wandered? Am I attentive only to what is right in front of me in my own little world? What kind of effort might I have to make to orient myself to another reality? To whom am I being called to pay homage?

For the next five days some men and women will participate in an online directed retreat focusing on Vocation Discernment, what God's call to them might be at this time in their lives. Each is trying to determine the directive for their re-orientation and answer the question, "Where shall my focus be?" This retreat is being sponsored by the Vocation Office of the Archdiocese of New York and is the combined effort of the director, Sr. Deanna Sabetta, and many vocation directors of various religious congregations and orders. We will provide the spiritual direction for these participants via e-mail.

You might find the daily meditations and reflection questions challenging. Here is the link: http://www.seekotherpossibility.blogspot.com